This book is a life essay in which the author—who has felt for 33 years that they “can’t live the way everyone else does”—looks back on bullying and feelings of inferiority, working as a healthcare professional, leaving their job, rifts with family, romance, and periods of unemployment while searching for ways of working and living that suit them. Written for people who feel “I can’t work normally,” “I can’t do the same things as those around me,” or “I don’t know if this way of living is right,” it records one person’s ongoing trials and errors.

I’m an introverted man in my late twenties/early thirties, based in Kanagawa. A former physical therapist, I published an autobiographical essay about my imperfect self who couldn’t become “normal.” I want to be there for people who find life difficult and for those who have experienced sadness and suffering.

This tanka reading group will focus on Shuta Fujii's first collection, Perspective. The host is the tanka poet Satsuki Suzuki. Please bring the collection with you on the day.

SNS let you pass along information you have to others in the form of a “share.” When you find a web page that interests you, you naturally want to share its URL. Lately, however, social networks have become less welcoming of URL sharing. Whether on X or Facebook, posts that share URLs are less likely to be seen by others. One of the web's advantages used to be that a link could take you to another site, so it's disappointing to see platforms try to keep everything inside their own services. Even if we lament that, the SNS services themselves aren't going to change, so Zindies is trying to make the act of sharing into an "image." When sharing a URL there is information called OGP that controls how the share is displayed, but if URLs are difficult to use you can't rely on that. In that case, why not turn the page's content into an image and share that? If it's an image, it's not treated as a URL share and can be posted directly to places like Instagram. Putting a URL into an image won't create a link, but having AI recognize a URL inside an image isn't hard. Also, unlike plain text, you can freely lay out the content, which can increase expressiveness. And so the steady improvements continued.

A ZINE-focused pop-up market held inside the arcade of the central shopping street in Yamaguchi City, at Honyarado and on the 5th floor of Izutsuya Department Store. November 7, 2026, 10:00–16:00. Vendor pre-registration required (deadline: 10/31). Both indoor and outdoor booths are being recruited (10 indoor slots; 30 slots under the arcade).

I start writing the manuscript I've been asked to write. The deadline is the end of this month. Unlike programs, writing has no performance metrics. Programmers are taught that the shorter and more precise their code or text is, the better. But that only makes sense within the context of instructions meant to make a computer run. You can't use the same method to move a human heart. Long ago a friend who does sociology told me that unless you write a lot you can't really feel you've explained something. Hearing that, I remember thinking there is a different kind of difficulty in a world without theorems or formulas. Remembering that, I sit at my computer and spend time thinking about prose. Come to think of it, I was never good at reports, and I regret having taken this on just a little, but it's also a perfect opportunity to explain Zindies. I want to write something that will make readers interested. I've decided to live for a while under the persona of a "great writer on the eve of a deadline."

　25年前の9月11日は、まだ丸善に勤めていて、翌月10月1日に京都河原町店店長から名古屋栄店店長として異動する前で、東京の丸の内に大きな本屋を作ろうと地主とかが計画をしていて、それに応募するという仕事が舞い込んできた時期でした。急遽名古屋から東京に出張して一ヶ月滞在して、出店のためのプレゼン資料作りをすることになったのでした。その宿泊先、青砥にあった丸善の社員寮の一室で、夜中家族から電話があり同時多発テロのニュースを聞いたのでした。寮の部屋にはテレビがなかったので、ラジオで報道をきいていたのを覚えています。あれから25年、世界中で戦争が続き、どんどん平和が遠のいている気がします。 　不穏な空気が世界中にただようなか、月末のプレゼン当日まで東京に滞在して、無事プレゼンを終えてその足で名古屋に赴任しました。プレゼンの成果か、もともと出来レースだったのかわかりませんが、無事丸善が書店を出店することが決まり、いまの丸善丸の内店ができたのでした。あのまま丸の内店の仕事させてもらってたら、会社辞めなかっただろうなと今でも思います。あの立地で本屋できるって、そんなチャンスそうそうありませんしね。 　さて、きょうもグズついた天気で、来客はほとんどなくて、入荷してきた本の登録とかしていました。入荷したなかでの注目は、遊廓の研究で有名な加藤晴美先生の『遊廓を生きる／遊廓を記憶する』ひつじ書房刊https://www.hituzi.co.jp/hituzibooks/ISBN978-4-8234-1352-0.htm です。来月、カストリ 書房さんと色街写真家の紅子さんの写真展が当店２階のギャラリーで開催されるのと、今月下旬に地元東海遊里史研究会による中村遊廓の講座を開催するのにちょうどいいタイミングでの出版でした。当店での講座「初心者のための遊廓入門〜中村遊廓の歴史を中心に〜」は第一回を9月２6日に、第２回を11月28日に開催するのですが、すでに第一回は満席、第二回も残りわずかとなっているほどの人気です。 　遊廓をはじめとする、日本の「性売買・性産業」の歴史を分かりやすく教えてもらう企画なのですが、今回の新刊はまさにぴったりの本だと思います。内容がぴったりだったので、ひつじ書房さんに電話して追加を頼んでおきました。入荷は２６日の講座ぎりぎり間に合うかどうかってところ。 　そういえば、店頭の「東海遊廓史要」の在庫が薄くなっていることに気がついて、そのうえ4巻目がでたのをすっかり忘れていたことを思い出し、あわててカストリ 出版の渡辺社長にメールして発注。来週には追加が届きそう。結構な冊数なので仕入れ金額が気になるけど、講座と写真展で売れることを期待。 　仕入れ作業のあいまに、新しいイベントの案内チラシを作成してました。イベントは東京の荻窪で本屋Titleを営まれている辻山良雄さんの新刊『本とねこと青い自転車』刊行記念トークイベントです。12月1日（火）19時より。詳しくはZindiesのイベントコーナーを。https://zindies.co/events/325?locale=ja 　辻山さんは名古屋でも勤務されていたので、名古屋にちなんだ方なんです。 閉店まえに、ひさしぶりに常連のちはるさん来店。ちょっと体調くずしてるようでしたが、きょうはとっても元気そうでした。いまからNHKの短歌の講座ですって。がんばるなあ。才能と努力の人ね。 　きょうもレジ以外は忙しい一日でした。 　 　

Today a small but important improvement. Yesterday, when I visited NAgoya BOOK CENTER, I heard from Mr. Fujisaka that while it's good to have notifications about new works, he'd like to know whether the creator is nearby. Indeed, that makes it easier to approach them and for them to visit the store. So, when a new work is registered, we now display creators who have set their activity area near the store first, and we also show proximity near the store's handling stance. I'm very grateful when people point out things like this. There's still much we can do to make interactions easier and, in turn, make the service easier to use. I'll keep working on it.

Long time since I last did an event in Osaka! It's my first time participating in BunFuri, so I'm a bit nervous... It's an event with proper genre sections — amazing! Booth number【te-30】. I'll be joining the horror/ghost-stories section! I'll be bringing my new book "Yōkō". If you're in the area, please stop by!

I'll be participating in IKI ZINE FES on consignment! Three books — "Unknown", "Yōkō (Sunlight)", and "Life in Belgium Full of Crane Flies" — will be on display, so if you're nearby please stop by!

True ghost stories + original ghost stories Includes works that passed the second round of screening in the Takeshobo Kaidan Monthly Contest.

Today I had a business trip to the Kansai area. On my way back to Tokyo I got off in Nagoya to visit Ms. Fujisaka at NAgoya BOOK CENTER. I had visited NAgoya BOOK CENTER last Saturday for a new-release event by Kazufumi Iida, but a few things have happened over the past few days regarding Zindies, so I stopped by to report and consult. On the Zindies side, following my earlier Code4Lib presentation we discussed creating a database and archiving it. I also received feedback that allowing stores to receive emails when new works are registered is useful because it helps them discover titles. They also asked to add an option to contact creators when a creator's activity area is nearby. Creators can set an activity area, but we haven't explained well who will see it, and because it relates to privacy we hadn't communicated much about it. If we tidy this up and have creators fill it in, interactions with stores might become much more active. When I explained Zindies' features, including the store calendar, they started using it right away. It doesn't create a page on Zindies; it only generates an image of a calendar, so it can be pasted into Instagram and the like. I'm grateful that Iruka Shorin, which is near my parents' home, and Zeroichi Village, a coworking space in Oita, have been using it. I think making tools when an idea occurs and closing them if no one uses them might be a good approach. I also asked about flood damage because I was worried, and they said the shop was fine. TV often shows striking footage that made me concerned, but it wasn't nearly that extreme, which was a relief. After that I returned home. I received a message from the operator of a service that might integrate with Zindies, and we'll work out the details. The target is people who make ZINEs. I'm very grateful for the support of many people.

Since the heavy rain the day before yesterday, Nagoya's weather has been unsettled and I feel like we haven't seen the sun for a while. It rained again this afternoon. It wasn't very heavy, which was a relief, but I heard the shinkansen and other trains were delayed. Despite the weather, quite a few customers came by and I had many conversations. Picture-book author Yukako Minami, a big fan of Noran Nijino, stopped by the shop while she was in the Meieki (Nagoya Station) area on other business. She even brought me a souvenir! She shared some Nontan gachapon toys that she loves. The shop was quiet, so we went to Kissa River and had a long, leisurely chat. Most of our conversation was about Noran Nijino's work. Since she liked Noran so much, I asked if she would join a reading group. I'll let you know once we set a date. By the time I had written this it was closing time. I'll continue later. In the evening, Chikura, a member of Zindies, came by. He stopped in on his way back from Kyoto. He reported that when he presented Zindies at the recent Code4lib, people from libraries didn't seem very interested in zines — only the tech crowd might have been. I encouraged him to try exhibiting at a general fair. While I was talking with Chikura, two young men came in one after the other. One of them was very interested in zines about yūkaku (the old licensed pleasure quarters) and said, "I don't really have any particular interests right now, but yūkaku sounds interesting, so I might look into it." He didn't seem to know much about what yūkaku were, so I'd be happy if he looked them up. The other young man was on his way from Hamamatsu to visit his older brother in Hiroshima and stopped by while waiting for a highway bus. He seemed to like bookstores and often goes to Yajimaya at Meiwan. It was unusual and fun to talk with a book-loving young man.

A photo event for ZINE Fest will be held at KIITO Hall (Sannomiya, Kobe). Information for exhibitors is provided, including booth sizes, limits on the number of people, participation fees, and requests for cooperation with setup and takedown. Photos from the event may be posted on official social media channels. Applications to exhibit are accepted via STORES.

Today in Nagoya the afternoon brought heavy rain — really at a disaster level. It was reportedly the heaviest downpour on record, and evacuation orders have been issued for almost the entire city of Nagoya due to heavy rain and the risk of river flooding (these orders are still in effect at the time of writing). The area west of the station (Ekinishi), which tends to flood, was at risk, but fortunately our shop did not get inundated. Despite the heavy rain, quite a few customers came by. A librarian from Tokyo stopped in on their way back from a library event held in Ise yesterday (https://wiki.code4lib.jp/wiki/C4ljp2025) — their return shinkansen was risky, so I had them go back to Nagoya Station quickly — and a local doujin circle, Bungei Chubu, came to deliver back issues. Two copies of my zine 'A Library That's Not Just for Borrowing Books' sold. I'm very grateful. Also, while talking with a young customer from Toyohashi, I learned they write novels and said they'd like to get their work into book form someday; I suggested making it into a zine as a first step. In the evening, evacuation orders were issued across the city one after another, and city buses and the subway suspended service on all lines, so I couldn't get home. I bought rice balls and water at a nearby convenience store and decided to stay at the shop until the subway resumed. Judging from the current situation, it might not run until the first trains tomorrow morning. Fortunately the power is still on, so it's not a big problem.

I added footnotes from my present perspective to a ZINE I started 12 years ago, and I wrote about the days that followed. I fell into depression. I was 28, living alone, working at a design studio. About a year earlier I had moved alone from Tokyo to Kochi. Everything — food, clothing, housing, work, daily life — had been moving in the directions I wanted, and the stress I was aware of had greatly decreased. I was spending calm, enjoyable days, so why did this happen──? The main text is printed in two colors: blue and brown. In chapters 1–3 the 12-year-old main text (blue) has footnotes from my current perspective (brown). In chapter 4 I wrote about events that happened after I finished the manuscript 12 years ago (brown). Includes a reflowable EPUB. At うたごや we produce accessible ZINEs that let readers choose the way they read. If you buy the print edition of "12 Years After Depression," you can download the reflowable EPUB edition for free. You can enjoy reading on your e-book reader by adjusting font size and colors. --- Contents Preface from two years ago 1. Until I was diagnosed with depression The door of the psychosomatic clinic / I was cured! / From the antlion pit to the abyss Column: Why I chose that hospital 2. Acute phase — symptoms of depression Medication and side effects / White flag! I can't eat! / Is there no night without dawn? / Rumination and self-blame / Decline in thinking ability / Various ailments / Zero motivation / Suicidal ideation 3. Recovery phase — course and rehabilitation Riding the big and small waves / I could hear music, I could read books / What was it — decline in memory / Getting up in the morning, sleeping at night / Let's take a bath / If I could think "I'll try" / Tidying the room / Library outpatient visits / Impatience and not trusting myself / Counseling experiences / Going to meet people I want to see Column: Words that made me happy · Words that hurt Afterword from 12 years ago 4. Memoir — the days that followed The seesaw of returning to work / Hospitalization in a psychiatric ward / Automatic thoughts and cognitive distortions / Depression and freelancing / The absence of an understanding partner / Life 12 years later (in lieu of an afterword) Column: Money talk

A ZINE like a picture book born from episodes with the mini pig Uta-chan we live with. By laying a mat on the stairs, the second floor changed for Uta-chan from "a place where she was taken when picked up (something she hated)" to "a place she can choose to spend time in on her own." The change in Uta-chan's behavior through environmental adjustments seemed to reflect the social model of disability. Risograph two-color print (fluorescent red + black) Hand-bound (spine stitched with string) The digital edition is available at the following page: https://note.com/mjmjsachi/n/n9b2f530c7b13

A project that explores accessible publishing with various stakeholders such as creators, readers, and supporters. 1. Publishing accessible ZINEs We produce ZINEs in formats such as print and EPUB so that readers can choose the way of reading that suits them. 2. Creating spaces to get familiar with reading accessibility We share what we learn about reading accessibility and create opportunities to encounter diverse reading styles. 3. Sharing the exploration process We publish our trial-and-error learnings from producing ZINEs and organizing events on a note magazine. produced by majima DESIGN

Today I'm in Ise. I presented about Zindies at the Code4Lib JAPAN 2026 conference held on the campus of Kogakkan University. Code4Lib JAPAN is a long-running initiative in the library × technology space. The title of my talk was “Building relationships between creators, shops, and readers using a ZINE database.” You can find the presentation materials at the URL below. https://zindies.co/articles/code4lib-japan-2026 The gist was that simply building a database of works cannot fully represent the world of ZINEs, and it's important to incorporate the “human connections” that appear there. That may not be surprising to people already using the service. However, for those involved with libraries, many may not know the keyword ZINE, or even if they do, they might feel it has nothing to do with them. Imagining that kind of away situation, I gave the talk trying to rally my courage. I don't really know how it was received. A few people did show interest and asked questions, so I'm happy if something of it stuck in their memory. It was a bit far, but I'm glad I went. Ise Jingu (Ise Grand Shrine) was very close by, but unfortunately I didn't have time to sightsee.